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Dating App Experiment

The Dating App Experiment

The Dating App Experiment

As a single staff member of one of the Events & Adventures clubhouses, I decided to do a bit of an experiment with myself. Like a lot of people, I’m a dating app user; as a person dating in the 21st century it often feels like there aren’t many other options. As a simultaneous member of Events & Adventures, I started to compare and contrast my experiences with my online relationships and the ones I was seeing develop at Events & Adventures.

I’ve been on the classic apps like Tinder and Bumble and have tried some of the more obscure apps like Hinge and Coffee Meets Bagel. They each have different layouts and specialties that make them seem like lights at the end of a tunnel filled with fellow singles. In the end, each app seems to turn out to have a similar end: possible dates and little connection.

 

The Findings

Dating apps turned the very real and emotional experience of dating into a very numb and robotic game. I’ve found myself mindlessly swiping through people without even looking at them. The sensation of matching with someone seems to create more of an endorphin boost than an actual opportunity for a true connection.

I’ll never forget when I matched with a guy and mentioned meeting up for dinner with him pretty quickly, trying to bypass the small talk and make something out of a match that seemed promising. He agreed, we set a time and location. The next morning, he was gone. He deleted our match and seeing as that was the only form of contact I had with him, there was no way of getting in touch to see what happened.

The experience stung, but a part of me accepted it because we hadn’t even met. How could I hold this guy accountable when he was only a picture on a screen?

I’ve gone on my fair share of actual dates through these apps too. I’ve even been in short-term relationships with some of the men I’ve meet. The large majority of the time the connection I thought I had with these guys online didn’t come through in person. If we did actually have something in common, there seemed to be a pressure to put a definition on whatever we had right away, which ended up scaring one of us away. When you make dating the primary focus of any activity, there’s an expectation of trust and vulnerability almost instantly. How can you put that kind of pressure on someone you barely know?

Having heard friends express similar frustrations, I know I’m not alone in my dating app woes. I even hear us wondering aloud if there is something wrong with us because of our lack of success.

 

The Solution

Having experienced Events & Adventures for the last six months, I honestly believe it’s not us but the online dating system that’s to blame. Unlike the forced nature of online dating, Events & Adventures creates an organic environment for members to have fun being themselves.

Are you filled with random facts or a board game connoisseur? You can guarantee there’s a trivia or game night coming up with Events & Adventures. More of a sports fan? Every club has at least one viewing party or pickup game on the books. Are you a whitewater rafting, bungee jumping, or adrenaline junkie—or do you want to be? Events & Adventures has you covered there, too.

And the best part? Other people are doing all of these things with you. You’ll be able to build connections with people that have similar interests and have the opportunity to see these same people on a weekly, or even daily basis, without having to plan the get togethers yourself.

All of the romantic relationships I’ve seen develop between Events & Adventures members have come out of the weeks and months they have spent together at Events & Adventures events. When people have the chance to develop friendships, those friendships turn into trust, and that trust can very easily blossom into something more substantial like commitment and love.

Our members have the chance to cultivate relationships with each other without having to worry about defining their experiences, romantic or otherwise, because that’s not what Events & Adventures is about. Our goal is to help people live a life they love, and that definition is different for everyone.

As a self-proclaimed wallflower, I’ve really had the chance to soak up all of the wonderful benefits Events & Adventures provides its members. In a world so fueled by instant gratification, Events & Adventures slows things down and gives its members the change to enjoy their lives with friends, new and old. So why keep staring at a dating app filled with what-ifs and maybes and come have some promised fun with Events and Adventures? You never know where it might lead until you give it a try!

I Love My Volleyball Family

Volleyball is a staple every week, and every week I go, I am reminded of why I love this event. Volleyball is not just a group of people playing… It’s not even members anymore, it’s a family. The Volleyball Crew has become such an intricate part of E&A. Each week you see eachother, and play together, it makes it easy to become friends and get to know each other really well. Most of the best friends I have made in the club are from volleyball! So many relationships have been formed with volleyball being the reason. We have even had a few weddings that developed from our volleyball events! The bond that has been created over the years has really made this event was it is today. Lot’s of people, lots of fun, and lots of love. It’s true… I love my volleyball family.

The Broadway Show Book of Mormon!

book of morman

Wow. What a performance! About 6 months ago, I purchased tickets to the Broadway show Book of Mormon. For those of you who don’t know much about Broadway, this is the number one show right now. Tickets were sold out within minutes & going on Stubhub for $500-$2000! I was able to purchase tickets early and for a discounted rate! So, I bought 60! With a sold out show, and the rave reviews, I knew this was going to be a great event! We had a huge group of members there, all dressed up for the theater! We had great seats in the Mezzanine & enjoyed a wonderful show! We all were cracking up through the “Hello” song & left the theater in high spirits. Afterwards, a group of us went for a drink at a nearby pub. It was a lot of fun watching the performance and seeing a couple jaw drops from others who were surprised at how far they took some of the jokes. Overall it was a wonderful experience. My favorite part would probably have to be the number of people we ran into afterwards who commented how lucky we were to get tickets. It really made me realize what a treat to be able to bring 60 members to a show that no one else could get tickets to!

Julie Event Manager Santa Clara

Making New Friends!

Santa Clara friends

E&A has definitely been a great time in my life. I have met some really awesome friends that I am so thankful for. For Thanksgiving, I spent the weekend not working at all (which is probably a first, and really only because I didn’t have any cell service or wifi). Instead, I was tucked away in a friends cabin near Pinecrest. It was a small group of 4, but we have all become extremely close. We met through E&A and have been close friends over the last 4 years. Charles & Stacy have always been dear to me (I even preformed their wedding ceremony), and this last weekend really helped me remember the great relationships that E&A creates. The fact that we all were brought together again and spent Thanksgiving weekend in their cabin was something that you can’t do with just anyone. You have to truly like the people! We drank wine, we ate TONS, watched movies, talked, and played Cards Against Humanity. Thanksgiving was special this year because of the friends I made through E&A.

Julie Event Manager Santa Clara

Traditions!

Tamale making is a tradition in Mexican culture. During the holiday season, large groups of families and friends get together to mix the masa, wrap the tamales with their favorite fillings, and then steam them… All the while sharing the work, food, and laughs. What a great tradition.
This year I decided to bring that tradition to my E&A family. We got together on Sunday and made over 100 tamales! Lisa opened her home while we cooked, ate tons of delicious foods, and spend the day laughing and enjoying eachothers company. It was so much fun watching George attempt at mixing the masa, having TJ teach the group how to spread the masa on the corn husks, and sharing our hard earned tamales. Everyone was able to bring home a tub to eat & share with family and friends over the holidays. I love traditions.

Julie Event Manager Santa Clara

More & More New Members!

 The new members icebreaker was a blast. It was great meeting so many new people! We learned lots about each other by throwing the ice breaker ball around… Everyone found out about George’s giant family, 12 brothers & sisters! Great tips were given to all the newbies from our amazing host Robert. And afterwards we all went bowling and hung out with members old & new. It was a fun night had by all!

Julie Event Manager Santa Clara

Getting lost never seems like a good idea.

 Unless, of course, it’s in a corn maze. The fun part though it getting lost with 30 other people! What a fun night that was! Our group headed in to the maze with the expectation of taking about 1.5 hours to finish it… Apparently though, we are rockstars because we finished it within 45 minutes! Following the clues, our group didn’t make one wrong turn! (Ok, we might have and just didn’t notice it) But really we had a great time running through the corn and following clues. When we reached the end, we were having such a good time that we decided to turn around & find how far back we could go! Our group re-entered the maze and went all the way back until we couldn’t go back any further. What a fun Halloween treat!

Julie Event Manager Santa Clara

Donation Bowling for Loaves & Fishes

 We did it! I have been working with Loaves & Fishes to have a food drive and we successfully helped fill their cabinets for the holidays! Donation Bowling was great. We had everyone bring something to donate for a discounted bowling rate. We filled two giant containers & had a good time doing it! Berret & David worked hard to teach me how to curve my ball when bowling  (I am a terrible bowler) and I successfully started getting the hang of it! About halfway through, Cupid Shuffle came on… This was the best part of the evening. Our entire group got up & danced in the lanes! Even those who didn’t know the dance learned it to participate! What a sight we must have been to the other bowlers. HA! It was such a fun night.

Julie Event Manager Santa Clara

Being “Stealthy” playing Laser Tag!

Laser Tag is one of my favorite events. Running around in the dark arena, trying to be “stealthy”. It can be so much fun! It’s funny because every time I play, I think I am a ninja… and then I see my score…. And I’m not as good as I thought I was. E&A went to a new laser tag location last week & it was a blast. Angela & I teamed up to cover each other’s backs while we tried to protect our home base. I feel I may have let her down though, I got caught up in a laser war with Nadia & totally forgot to protect Angela! We lost that game but got another chance!

The highlight of the evening for me was the laser maze! This was really where I felt like James Bond. It’s a room full of lasers that you have to navigate without touching any of them. I was nervous because I got so into mood! I seriously felt that if I touched the laser it would be the end of me! Ritu busted out her yoga skills and rocked it! She put the level on extreme & finished quickly and only touched 1 laser. Then new member Berret (it was his first event) came & bunny hopped over the most difficult part! He did it without touching any laser & getting through it the fastest! What a rockstar! It was one seriously good night!

Julie Event Manager Santa Clara